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73. I. Can't.You told me to rejoice and not to grieve.
You would ascend, that's what you did believe.
I tried not to show the sun the tears I cried
So you would not see them, too. I really tried.
I cannot rejoice now that you are gone.
I can't write you a happy poem nor a song,
Especially not in the language that you spoke.
I can't fulfil your last wish for one last joke.
But neither must I not turn this wish down,
So I might paint myself the smile of a clown.
Because I cannot shut down grief and tears,
At least not for now, maybe in a few years.
Would you wait for me to do what you asked for?
Would my inability make you feel sore?
I'm so very sorry that
Immer wieder (translation in the description)Immer wieder wollte ich dir schreiben,
Einen Brief oder vielleicht ein Gedicht
Doch wieder, immer wieder ließ ich's bleiben
Denn die Worte, die Worte kamen nicht.
Stattdessen Tränen, nicht zu vertreiben,
Kamen und verschleierten mir stets die Sicht.
Erst jetzt, da es zu spät, bricht alles heraus.

Immer wieder wollte ich dich besuchen
Wollte dich doch noch einmal so sehen
Wie du warst, doch bei all meinen Versuchen
Hielt die Angst mich davon ab, zu gehen.
Die Angst, mich hinterher zu verfluchen
Falls die Hoffnungen der Wahrheit nachstehen.
Als ich dann schließlich kam, hielt ich es kaum aus.

Wie lang' werd' ich dich woh
Your PlaceYour place at the table
is now merely a place.
But whoever comes to dinner
must not fill that space.

Your towel on the hook
hangs clean; always dry.
But whoever washes their hands
must use another to wipe.

Your coat on the hanger
has not been worn.
But whoever becomes cold
must borrow the one I have on.

Your side of the bed
leaves me alone and awake.
But whoever makes advances
won't ever take your place.
The Family FuedMy Family is at war
and peace will come no more
From silent treatment
we're damned repeatment
Brothers, and cousins, in parking lot brawls
Too drunk to walk, stagger, and crawls
You thought death would slow them down
but no one stops till they get the crown.
Dedicated to unbelievable childish actions of my family at the Funeral on Tuesday
MotherMother
Though you
Can no longer
Hold my hand
I pray you always
Hold my heart
You're a reason
That it beats
One that shall
Never fall apart
You're all I have
To keep me whole
Even when one day
I must part
When chaos comes
I will remember
The Strength
Of you
Inside my heart
Dreams and TearsSuch tears I began to cry and weep
When I woke from my tossing, troubled sleep…
For thoughts of you swept through my dreams
Memories brought again to the surface, it seems

The recollection of happy days gone by
Interrupted the dreams of my wish to fly
Your face was there in a happy rush
Smiling like it used to with a sweet, pink flush

Your words again ran through my mind
Such beauty and wisdom spoken oh so kind
It was years ago that you left me behind
To cry and shed every tear I could find

But the memory of your gentle, smiling face
Came rushing back like a star falling through space
A bittersweet feeling tingeing my dream
Bringing
The GirlA speckled dress,
A blue stare,
A pony tail
Of brown hair.
A bright smile,
Tall,
Pretty,
gI like your dress.h
gThank you Izzy.h
A few words,
Just the start,
A million more,
Heart to heart.
Friend for life,
Sister of soul,
Ifll miss you most,
My dear Rachel
RECIPE FOR LITTLE BOYS By LOUIRECIPE FOR LITTLE BOYS
By LOUIS J, SÄNKER
WHAT are little boys made of?
Mothers all know what they're made of.
Yelling and running,
Tousled heads sunning,
Robbers and G-Men, make-believe gunning;
Splinters and scratches,
Wild wrestling matches,
Guarding a bird's nest until the egg hatches;
Puddles of rain and the wade of;
Tallness of trees, not the shade of;
A light, for the dark they're afraid of—
And that's what little boys are made of.

What are little boys made of?
Daddies can tell what they're made of.
Coasting and cheering,
Standing-up steering;
Building a doghouse, tools disappearing;
Hunger a pleasure;
Shoes without measure
Emilie And a new world suddeEmilie

And a new world suddenly opened
Like a crack in an egg
Revealing what it contained
And what laid ahead

Here comes the  sun
of children’s laughter
And love to give and share
in a clear shiny light they run

Here is the blue pool
Their voices sweet songs
Music to my soul
Their blond hair long

Wisdom comes with Aging
And I love their being
So very carefree and happy
In their tanned and tiny bodies

Their dance fills my heart
And the mockingbird
Flies not missing a part
Happiness fills my heart

And it brings far away memories
From a long time ago, in another country
Of a very small child in a garden
Filled with the flowers of Ed
~Natalie~There once was a girl
Her skin was like a pearl
Natalie by name
Dandelions she would maim
She liked her fries with a curl
Angel that lost it's way"Angel that lost it's way"
One bright morning , I was walking alone
I came across my name engraved in stone
I can't find the words to keep me in check
I keep starting over, what the heck!
It doesn't matter what I do or say
I'm out of my grave but I see where I lay
Where am I? Where am I going to stay?
No matter what I do, does it mater anyways?
Even though my time is gone, I am still here
It's not death I'm afraid of but me I fear
There are solid walls I can pass right through
I'm scared and alone and don't know what to do
For the light's flicker hen I pass by
I don't want to live, but I don't want to die
I saw an old women in the poring rain
Three things -Journal-Ok so journals are still being glitchy so I am just writing this here....
------------------------------------------------------------
Three things:
1) Thanks for all the birthday wishes people
-------------------------------------------------------------
2) Ok so just what I just did with a level 10 Deino I was raising from an egg...
Ok so I was playing White 2 but I guess I thought I was playing Black for something and I started heading towards the town where you start in Black and I battled a trainer and he sends out a level 60 Wooper and I am like god.... Here is what happens
Wooper: Rain dance
Deino: Dragon Pulse (Knocks down quarter of
Unknown yetI wish I had a rose
For every I love you
For every little hug and kiss
Leaves me breathless
I wish I was in your arms
Safe and warm
Instead of this hell hole party store

Being 1,000 miles away from you is killing me
But I know one day it’ll be worth the wait
That and our love keeps me going

Our eighth month anniversary is coming up
So I hope you enjoy your present
Its nothing big, kinda peasant
It’s a poem for you
Maybe you’ll like it too
I hope you do

I’m sorry I get jealous over stupid things
Sorry for making big deals out of nothing
Mother's TomorrowWhat does tomorrow mean
To a mother of few and many?
Diaper pails, rushed farewells,
Dirty clothes and a runny nose.
Fur here, mess there, unwashed-
dirty, knotted hair.

With one plus one, plus one, plus nine
And maybe two not far behind
Tomorrow comes too close in time
Tomorrow brings more stress and grime.

But what more does tomorrow mean
To a mother of few and many?
Morning hugs, mile-wide smiles,
Funny faces - his father's child,
Dancing here, music there, cuddles,
Love, and so much care.

Still it's only one, plus one, plus nine
With maybe two not far behind,
And only 'so much' precious time
Tomorrow's waiting next in line.

What does
The RitualYour mug sits next to mine on coffee tables –
The tables and the mugs change through the years.
It sat there next to mine on 9/11 –
You ranted while I brushed away the tears.

It sat there next to mine when I was tiny;
Back when I still sat perched upon your knee
Sharing a yogurt with you, watching Star Trek
When it was me and you, not you v. me.

It sat there next to you while you were shouting,
When you said I was ‘ruining your life’
And teenaged-sad I fled the scene completely
And sat outside alone for hours that night.

It sits next to you now, and time is passing
Marching on with no regard for us.
My less-used on
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I Hope Tomorrow Will be Sunny
Dreams aren't reality that Is what makes them so truely very happy.  
Don't say such lonely things. *
If it doesn't cost a thing to dream, then is it free to make those dreams come true?

is there anyone who will never be dampened by heavy rain drops?
Everyone will get wet sometimes anyway,
Why don't we don't just get soaked so we can feel clean?

"I hope tomarrow will be sunny"

If there was anything sad, I will share the pain.
If there was anything happy, all I want is to see you smile.
That's all. *

"I hope that you will be happy"*

The truth is I want to be together with you sleeping like this
but, I have a place that I must go,
Bite your tongue
Bite your tongue boy
Bite your tongue
Shut it up child
Bite your tongue

Hush the sound
Shut out the noise
Don't feel far down
Turn out the lights

Bite your tongue boy
Bite your tongue
Shut it up child
Bite your tongue

Kiss dreams goodnight
Hush out all the cries
No need to be polite
Crush out the sound

Bite your tongue boy
Bite your tongue
Shut it up child
Bite your tongue

Tear your heart out
Crush your soul
Don't cry or shout
Bleed inside
Touching The Sky
Sometimes when I look deep in your eyes
Feelings really come as no surprise
Your touch inspires my very heart
I long to be near you even when your near

Feeling free looking to the sky
Please be still my beating heart
Viewing the shades of blue so high
Please be still my beating heart

Dawn crept up on us that night
I need to restrain my heart from flight
Touch of your skin makes me short of breath
All your words are so beautiful to me

I touched your feathery hair
Your perfect skin so light and fair
Touching you isn't close enough
You are my perfect shining star

Feeling free looking to the sky
Please be still my beating hear
Broken
Twisted broken apart
Why don't you mend up my heart
I feel broken inside
Please look into my eyes

Twisted up in my heart
I can hardly think where to start
I know that I have
Always wanted you

Twisted up in the pain
You play right into my game
Please reach out
Someone like you could touch my heart
With you by my side
If you held my hand
Maybe we could overcome this
Overcome this grand plan
Just with you by my side

If I can speak these words
Promise me just one thing
You won't tear open my heart
Won't rip it with a brutal sting

As long as I'm here and seeing you
I won't have to cry out for you
So please stay here with me
I could only treat you the very best

If I can speak these words
Tell me just this one thing
You will listen to me till I'm done
You won't shrug me off for some fling

We could be like this forever
I still will only promise the best
This is a tie you simply can't sever
I wish I could put these thoughts in words

If

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April 28, 2004
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You take my breath away

:icontwistitrosey:

Hands slap
Words bite
Fist bruise
Where is my light?

I didn’t do it
I promise you
How could of I done it?
Terror of words untrue

Remember me mother?
Remember the words you said?
They each cut me razor sharp
To a child those thing were said

What else can I say mother
You take my breath away
You take my breath away
What else can I say?

Remember me mother?
Remember the night with the knife?
Thank god you didn’t kill me
You only fucking ruined my life

Where my light?
I was born to be abused?
Treated as you choose
Where’s my hope?

What else can I say mother?
You take my breath away
You take my breath away
What else can I say?
:icontwistitrosey:
KYO-SAMA!!!! Reminds me of lyrics like kyo of Dir en grey writes but with out gore.
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:icona-j-d:
~A-J-D Jun 7, 2004
I feel the emotion!!!
Reply
:icontwistitrosey:
~TwistItRosey Jun 7, 2004   Writer
Thanks for the :+fave:
Reply
:iconthere-is-no-spoon:
~there-is-no-spoon May 23, 2004   Writer
That's beautiful, it's just beautiful..i can see the anger and you have imnpacted with this poem..I can really feel what you were tlaking about..and I'm pretty sure that's the purpose of any poet...to leave a mark on the person that read their poem...congradulations you have accomplished that.....
Reply
:iconangelfthr2:
~angelfthr2 May 23, 2004   Writer
truth be told it seems we all write from are own dysfunctional experiences--nicely done--you are very talented--keep up the good work
Reply
:icontwistitrosey:
~TwistItRosey May 23, 2004   Writer
^_^; This didn't happen to me at all after I was about 4 I had a fairly normal upbringing. It's a huge compliment that you thaught it was from personal experance. Thank you very very much
Reply
:iconangelfthr2:
~angelfthr2 May 23, 2004   Writer
your so welcome--i just submitted something new-

[link]
Reply
:iconsiempreyo:
~SiempreYo May 18, 2004  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
nice work - this has so much emotion and feeling in it. i can understand everything that happened to you. trust me. *sigh* nice work, anyways. your words are carefully chosen and really give a tremendous effect.
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:icontwistitrosey:
~TwistItRosey May 18, 2004   Writer
Thank you very much :) i really apricate it :)
Reply
:iconsiempreyo:
~SiempreYo May 18, 2004  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
no problem! my pleasure!
Reply
:iconaloneinthelight:
~AloneInTheLight May 10, 2004
This piece shows a whole heck of a lot of emotion but it's very very good. You're an excellent writer!! I'm really sorry bout what happened...
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